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Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. (John 12: 24)  Sitting in our "regular pew"  I felt my jaw drop when I heard this passage of John, it was as if God was speaking to me and moms of faith.  Our motherhood was the ground, our "old lives" the grain of wheat, our "old lives" then die and our children are the fruit.

I remember being so excited by the fact I was getting married! My hubby and I did not have the usual bridal/groom nervousness, it was more like our wedding was Christmas morning!  We had plans of staying off having children until we had a time to adjust to married life with each other, but as I have said before, God had other plans.

Now looking back God was preparing the ground of our life for what God was planning for our lives.  He was taking all the things he used to till and prepare the ground: our dreams, our goals/callings, and what was to be our life work, all aspects of it to create the proper soil condition for our lives to grow.  Looking at back I can see where God did not force a calling - motherhood- on me, but was fulfilling my calling - working with women/moms- with mothering.  Everything in my life came to that point.  If I had not gotten married, had not had children would I be where I am now: Supported as I am, creating as I do?  Not at all.  I would be a very different person!  

Would I have answered my calling from God?  That can not be answered, but I don't think it would have been, could have.  I would not have had the experiences that helped me relate to other moms.  My spirituality would have been very different, would it have been as rich?  No, I don't think so?

Looking back on my life, I can see now where God was guiding, putting before me experiences and people that would help me choose my calling and life.  I have said this before God does not toy with us, but is there to guide, encourage, and support us as we go through our lives.  Our callings will change over time but only the tone not the whole.  We will be who we wish to be, are called to be, if we open ourselves to look for every opportunity to see God pruning and caring for the garden of our lives.


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