We have been exploring the Book of Job this week, looking at how Job reacts to much of what life has done to him and his responses, complaints to God. Everyone has troubles, it is a part of being human, of being imperfect and part of having to deal with others. If we didn't have other relationships to deal with we could possibly be trouble free!
Looking at relationships we can see that we are the hub, the spoke, from which all reactions revolve. It is from this hub, that we interact with the world around us; and that interaction is influenced by how we see life, our basic personality, (Introvert/Extrovert) and how that personality type influences our interacts with others and ourselves: what we think of ourselves and how we think of ourselves. Each time we present ourselves to the world we teach each person we react with how to deal with us. If we are shy and insecure, that is how our relationship partner will react to us, treating us as they have learned to treat shy people. If we come off rather strongly than that is how we will effect others reaction and interaction to us; scare them off, make them aggressive toward us, or be best pals?
Saying that we are the hub of a relationship wheel is not to be thought of as we are the centre of the universe, but that we are the focus of our relationship, the middle if you will, of our relationships. Every relationship is a dance, a give and take, and the wheel is the best way to describe it, to show how each reaction comes and goes from us as spokes of a wheel!
Looking at Job and his three friends it is clear that they are in a very intimate circle with Job. They understand him greatly, see his flaws and are trying to help him view life more clearly, that is one thing that those in our most intimate circle do for us, helps us see things clearly. Just as we as Queen are called to help our intimate circle see things more clearly. Now Job, like most of us hangs onto his view of life and its unfairness because it is somehow more comfortable to be there than it is to go forward, going forward is scary. But for a while that is were Job is, wanting to stay "safe.'
Let's look at relationships in the next level: Intimate. Those in this level are connected with you but their relationship with you is less intense. Job's first wife, who is unnamed, is in this circle of influence. She really doesn't seem to have Job's best interest at heart, not like his three friends, she flippantly suggests that Job curse God, getting God out of Job's life. Had Job's first wife spilled out of the level of most intimate because she was as miserable as Job and felt that all the time Job is dealing with his issues she is becoming a maidservant? We can assume that is how she is feeling, and it is something we can understand as married women; when our marriage changes focus as the Honeymoon ends and the career begins. Though Job still honors she has slipped out of the most intimate circle, without him knowing it.
We slip in and out of levels all the time, why is that? Often occurs when we have a change in our attitude about ourselves, or changes in attitudes about those we relate, or both. When we change positively or negatively everything in our world must change accordingly. When we have those changes our relationships must change accordingly, and depending on what level, what spoke they are on will affect how deeply the change will be. If we look at Job's first wife and our own marriage when the Honeymoon ends we can understand how these changes effect us. If we are not in the most intimate level and are willing to work for positive change our marriage it will suffer greater. The more intimate we are the greater the hope is that the changes effect will be muted, and the most intimate, like Job's three friends, are committed to help strengthen our relationships all relationships.