As many as there are moms. There is the Helicopter Mom we looked at and even took a test there. We looked at What Would Mary Do in this post as the Positive Parenting Mom Mary was.
Like every mom on the planet my mothering personality is based very much on my own personality; but motherhood personalities are also formed by how we viewed our own mother's mothering, how we were mothered, and what we wish to NOT bring to the table. And like our own personalities our Mothering personality can change over time and with experiences.
Here is a list of the more traditional types of mothers; do you see yourself in any of these:
- The Perfectionist Mother — whose family must look perfect in every way. Now I/we can get this way when I/we feel as if my/our authority has been thwarted. I/we have the feeling that I/we will get it back by being even stricter than usual. Wrong way to go, it will only lead to more rebellion and lose of what I/we eventually want respect and authority; not very Queenly.
- The Unpredictable Mother- whose ups and downs can create lifelong anxiety and depression in her son or daughter. This one breaks my heart because there are so many moms out there that fight with depression that are great moms, but for whom chronic Depression can take the wind right out of the parenting sails! It has happened to me, I suffer with Chronic Depression and know the hurt it can cause, but I also know that meds and caring for yourself is the best way to model wonderful mothering/parenting to our children; showing them that CD does not mean being a poor mom! Being Queenly here means getting all the resources YOU need to care for yourself: To be the best you can be!
- The "Me First" Mother — whose children come second or last. We all know those moms. Being a "Me First Mom" usually means there is a "mom need" that is not getting met! For us to live the Great Commandment, means we have to look at those areas in our lives where we have been wounded and heal them. Even though we may be wounded we have skills and gifts that move us forward and we should make them the most prominent thing in our parenting/person tool box, and to let go of those things that are not helping us. Learning more about yourself and making the most of that, very Queenly!
- The "Best Friend" Mother — who's now in vogue but can wreak havoc. As our very wise elder twinnie said to me once: "We, (kids/teens), like rules!" She was upset that a teacher was so lackadaisical that she let the room run wild. Does that mean we, as moms, have to toe the line and make our kids toe it as well; yes and no. Rules, discipline and positive performance are what we strive for as moms/Queens, and to get that we need balance in our lives. Balance comes from knowing when to let off a little, be a friend, and when to rein in.
- The Complete Mother- who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child. Now this one sounds far too high and mighty, I just don't like the tone, it makes it seem as if good Queenly mothering is out of reach of us mere morals; not true! Look at all the types, in EACH of them there is goodness, skill sets, abilities that move families forward; the Complete Mom/Queenly Mom is the one that has many positive tools in her tool box!
- The Clueless Mom — who really believes you were "studying" when you come home with grass on your back and doesn't know what that pretty glass vase, read here bong, in your room is really for
- The Alarmist Mom — who thinks the desks at school might be made with carcinogenic materials and wonders if your moles are "growing" and assumes you're dead if you don't call exactly at 11p.m.
- The Mean Mom — who grounds you first, asks questions later. Hates your boyfriends, tells you you're going nowhere fast. New friends come over once and never again. Capable of withering plants with a single gaze.
- The Old-Country Mom — who was born elsewhere and uses you as an interpreter, ambassador and errand-runner. Understands more English than she lets on but pretends not to. Just wants you to marry a nice boy.
- The Stage Mom — who pushes you into fame but hates being left behind; wants to share (or steal) the spotlight.
Not one of these moms are Queenly or even close to Queenly Moms, but they are the very essence of modern mothering! Why is that? I believe we as moms have forgotten we are co-creators with God of our children. Like Mary we were asked to carry this precious child for nine months, guarding it, nurturing it, doing what was best for the baby, putting them first and we next.
When our children are born we then are bombarded by every celebrity pregnancy and birth/baby story of how they have the good life and we well...just have a life. We read every pop culture, pseudo science/psychology way of being a good parent and feel we fall short.
There are many reliable sources of support, ways to learn how to be a good mom, ways to share wisdom with each other, ways to become comfortable with our Calling as Mom: Priest, Prophet and Queen. These mothering types are based on fear and God does not want us to be parenting our children in fear! Fear is the bases of the modern world, and what kind of life is that: Being in Fear?