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A Joyous Beginning

I have been blogging about Good Wives, and I was reminded of one directee mom many years ago, who related how she felt when she found out she became pregnant with her first on her honeymoon.  She said that she sat in her apartment weeping and contemplating getting an abortion.  She felt as if God was laughing at her.  She said she had such dreams and goals and now they were all being dashed by this baby.  She remembered that she sat on the bed looking up to heaven and saying:  "Why God!  Why did you give me all my dreams only to take them away!"  She was seeing me because she felt stuck in her life.  She felt as if being a mom was all she had become. She felt invisible.

The job of a director is to listen, to be a guide only when necessary and just let the directee and God have the conversation; being new at all of that I didn't handle this poor mom well and she never returned, something I still pray for forgiveness about; but what it did do was help me see that not every mom has a joyful beginning to their motherhood.  Not every newlywed knows what to expect from being married.  That sometimes how things begin can colour how they end. That every woman/mom needs support to be all they are called to be.

I wish I knew what happened with this mom, but if the situation came again I know I would handle it differently.  First off I would just listen, not try to advise.  This mom had a lot to say to God.  She had every right to question what was going on in her young life.  At 24 she was just beginning her life and at the time could only see her pregnancy as a road block.  She needed time to grieve the old her.  When this mom came to me she was in her mid-30's but that 24 year old young bride was still very much in control of what was going on!

Sadly not for everyone
The 24 year old her and the woman who was journeying with me needed time to process how her dreams and goals may be modified but it doesn't mean they are gone, dead, no more.  She needed time to discern what was the cause of her reaction to the news of motherhood.  She needed to explore those feelings to let them go, to see what they had to teach her about herself and then let the negative aspects go to God.  It was not the time for one door opens when another closes, because what she heard was all doors are closed!

It was time to discern how to see the problems at hand.  Because for us to go forward in our life, we must look at those things that block our process.  God who is the author of all good things, who makes all things new, who in him we have new life; is more than willing to help us move beyond those spiritual-emotional blocks in our life.  It means looking at some unpleasant things, holding a mirror up to ourselves, and it means that we have some work to do, but in the end there is the guarantee of new life!

I pray that mom found someone who could help her to create her life anew!

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