Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
This Sunday's Gospel has Peter walking on water as he saw Jesus do, but losing faith and begins to sink.
This Gospel always makes me think of how it is for moms; with great faith we have our children, as life comes at us our optimism lessens, and when situations hit the fan we lose it. During our pregnancy we have great faith that everything will be just fine: we will be the best mothers, we will do the right things, our children will become the next whatevers. We are like Peter with the bright eyed optimism of not knowing any better. We are out to conquer the world!
I always wondered what it was that made Peter lose faith and begin to sink. Was it that the water hit his thigh and he realized where he was, or did he just begin to think that he wasn't Jesus why was he on the water; the Gospel of Matthew never says. But I think its something to consider, why did Peter lose faith? What was Peter thinking at the moment JUST before he began to sink?
If Peter was doing what I imagine he was doing, he really wasn't thinking anything, just keeping his eyes on Jesus, and doing exactly what Jesus was doing. It seems to me that when he stopped trusting that Jesus had given him everything he needed to walk on the water that was when the doubt crept in. Now in return Jesus does not scold Peter, just asks the very normal question of why he lost his faith, had little faith. When asked why Peter doubted I knew then that Jesus had given Peter EVERYTHING he needed, and it was Peter who didn't believe it. Or maybe that Peter Couldn't Believe It. Maybe Peter just didn't think that Jesus could have given him everything, after all he is just Peter, some slob fisherman Jesus stumbled upon, there was nothing special about him/me.
I don't think Jesus was wondering up and down the Galilean Shoreline looking for whomever, Jesus had a very specific goal and group of men he was looking for. He knew these men were not going to be prefect, that wasn't the point, they were going to be men who could and would inspire, guide and finally become the foundation of a faith community of today. These were normal men gifted by God do extra-ordinary things be extra-ordinary- just like mothers.