It's unloving to keep our children weak or helpless. In fact, strength (and the sufficienty that come with it) is one of the nutural conclusions of love. Grace Based Parenting ~~ Dr.Tim Kimmel
I have been around long enough, our oldest is 26, to have seen parenting techniques come into style and go out of style. We have tried almost all of them: STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting = STEP began in 1976 when Don Dinkmeyer Sr. and Gary D. McKay expanded a successful book -- Raising a Responsible Child -- from a book study discussion group.), Siblings Without Rivalry, Parent Nurturing, and they all try to help parents raise children that will be independent and responsible.
As a young mom I really needed help in understanding how to parent. What I found in all the workshops I went to, all the classes I attended was that if common sense, loving approach, and a real understanding of your values, family goals and basic beliefs are the basis of your parenting that is a good start. We also need to make sure that our children have emotional strength gained from letting our children make mistakes and grow from them. They grow because they finally understand what we have been teaching them all their life about why you don't do something, and why you do do something. That is the hardest thing to do as a parent and I think as a mom.
We moms we don't want our children to hurt, it hurts us too much. Our children come to us to kiss the boo-boo away and we want to keep kissing those boo-boos away as they grow older, but we can't. As our children get older they need to get bumped and bruised by life. We have to learn when to bite our tongue, I often say that I bit my tongue so much my mouth was bloody, and when to step in - its not an easy thing: the key is to listen to your heart, pray for guidance and know when stepping in will not stop the growth process.