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Mommying Changes the Friendship Biz

You are a new mom with your new baby and you feel just as nervous as you did in High School.  Will they like me, is my hair looking OK?  What makes making mommy friends so difficult.  One answer could be that new moms in the bid to be the best, prefect mom, let the competitive nature take over. Another maybe that we are all so busy these days.  Still some find it hard to, out of fear or whatever, to let new people into their group.  And then there is the mommy just like us searching and not, yet, finding.  There are as many reasons as there are mommies. 

Why was it so easy to have friends before children and now, it's hard?  I contend that it has a great deal to do with new responsibilities and roles.  We have changed the game and now we have to redefine and sharpen our equipment:

Loyalty, I know very few moms who are not loyal.  Being that you are a mom you already understand how important it is to be there for someone else.

Right intention, what is that exactly?  We all gravitate to people we feel share the same values, convictions, attitudes that we do.  Now as moms our spiritual-emotional radar is doing double duty and we have it set on default mode.  We have to be aware that this friendship will not only affect us but also our baby, family.  What are we looking for in friends now that we are moms?  Are we looking for support?  If that is the case than going with those moms who have similar life situations is a possible answer.  What do we want out of this friendship, do we want it to last or are we willing to let it go if it doesn't turn out?  How are we presenting ourselves?  What are our gifts and talents we can bring to fellow moms?  Can we share our "toys" nicely with others?

Discernment, are you praying?  Trusting that inner voice that says this a good fit, or that this isn't working out is an important aspect of all relationships.  All things from God, and friendship is certainly one, will bring you peace.  You feel as if you and your friend fit into each others lives like hand and glove.  When we feel the friendship has shifted for some reason it is OK to walk away, especially if we feel that it has become harmful to us spiritually and emotionally.  No friendship is worth harming your inner peace.

Finally and most importantly is patience. Patience has a very deep spiritual meaning: not to despair. We have to concede that mothering can take a great deal out of us.  We are tired, we are overly busy, we are feeling like Kali, the many armed Hindu god, and maybe wish we did have more arms so we could do more things, but what we are are moms who need to not rebuke ourselves when we go mommy friend searching, the right one is out there.
Blessing my mommy-sisters, all good will come.

Would love to know what you think, love comments

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